It's · a · Long · Story

Happy New Year!!! Or something. This year I've discovered that writing things takes me a long time. A really long time. I have all these stupid stories in my head, and I can write them. But its like pulling teeth. It takes me forever to get the shortest scenes written. Its frustrating. Its like I have to play a scene a hundred times in my head before I can even start to write it correctly. Is that normal? I don't know. Depressing.

Dear Laptop,

I'm sorry for everytime I complained you were too big for a laptop, and that I wish I'd picke d something smaller...gladly would I lug you around now! I remember fondly now the times I watched movies on your seventeen inch screen. I'm sorry too, for the time that I accidently broke your disc drive...It wasn't really my fault, but maybe if I'd paid a little more attention I wouldn't have sat on you. I'm sorry that I never cleaned your screen, and that I lost the little rubber grips that while I never quite understood the funcion of, I fully meant to re-glue. I'm sorry that I didn't realize how important you had become to me. I miss seeing you sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch. Remember how we would check email incesssantly? And then how I'd sit down to write a paper but your wireless connection proved to much temptation and before I knew it I was happily looking up snarky movie reviews, or checking blogs? Me too. I guess what I'm trying to say is...please come home soon, I promise I'll take real good care of you. I got you a desk so you'll have more permanent home...oh! And I've got a new friend for you...his name is "Printer". I think you'll really hit it off. I have to go now and wait by the phone, Compusa might call anytime to tell me you've come back.

Love,

Your Owner

Ok, so I'm pretty sure at this point that you all know that I am participating in National Novel Writing Month. I kind of signed up on the website, but...really haven't checked it since. I'm kind of just writing my book. But I have a deadline! I've created a live journal to post the pages for you guys to read if you so choose...and even if you don't because you have to be nice cause I'm family. A couple of things that I need to set out first however. One, this is rough writing, I'm having to work very fast, which frankly is good for me, but its pretty pathetic. Two, because of the increasing crapiness of my computer I can't sit and type steadily so I'm having to write it by hand. This means that its taking me forever to type up what I do have. Its going to take me a little while to get it out, so give me about a week to get chapter one finished being typed up. (Quiet Jana! I also have to go to school! I know I know, so do you. But my computer! *whines*) . Three, I need a little help with something. I have to come up with a cool, pretigious hollywood art school name. Right now I've been writing AIA, American Institute of Arts, but thats lame and I never intended to use that as a permanant title, I just needed a place holder. But now, I have a little mental block about it. So...ideas?

A little link to brighten your day

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6739710473912337648&q=chinese&p

Is it fall yet? Really? Because I'm still kind of in July mode. Seriously, I'm having problems. Everytime I sit to study or go to class I'm day dreaming. But its not even really day dreaming...because daydreaming is fanciful and fun and airy. I? Am just trying to avoid life. Because I'm in this really funky place, where I'm a senior. And I'm supposed to be graduating in June. JUNE. And after that? I'm going to grad school. Thats the plan. And then I'll be a teacher. And thats it. I kind of hate this. Because I'm not a kid anymore. And reading that it feels really trite to say, but seriously? I'm twenty-two. And all the stuff I could get away with before isn't allowed anymore. I just feel like I'm stuck on this path and thats going to be the rest of my life. And its not that I don't want to be a teacher...its that I don't want to be an adult. It gives me this sick feeling in my stomache everytime I think about it. Which is a lot. I just keep thinking of Jack Nichelson looking all crazy-eyed, scary-eyebrowed barking: "What if this is as good as it gets?" because thats how I feel exactly. What if this is as good as I get?

There was a car accident in front of my building today. No one was hurt. Thought I'd put that out there right away. But imagine this as your wake up call: CRSH CRSH BOOM THUD CRSH AGAIN CAR ALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRMMMMM. Much more effective than my cell phone. My roommate came in from the livingroom and we sat and watched the whole senario unfold. Very interesting to see how they dealt with the whole thing. But not so interesting that I'll recount it. Thats kind of the end of the story. Not really very exciting or any overwhelming life epiphanies or anything...but its what happened to me today.

so tired.
I'm so tired.
wish I were asleep.
but I have to write a paper.
and I'm supposed to go to institute.
except that I think it already started.
so that particular bit is probably not happening.
and the fireman on the anti-arnold commercial is dreamy.
i should probably have a million of his babies.
now elvira as shown by the simpsons is on.
i should probably make myself dinner.
I wonder what I'd look like blonde.
Lise is putting my shoes on me.
because we're going shopping
I think I hate school
mostly because
I'm tired.

What's that you say? Not enough long winded and rather disjointed entries about the day to day occurances of my life? Don't worry. I'm about to fix all that.

Let's see, when last we saw each other, oh darling readers...you know...all three of you, I was on the in the midst of moving and mass laundry. I just want to come out and say that both of these tasks are boh-oring. And stressful. And involve heavy lifting. Well, not so much the laundry portion, unless you have a really bad fabric softner.

Well, I moved. And can I just say about my new apartment? Awesome. Like, so awesome. Points of interest:

1) One roommate is an occupational therapist at the hospital I spent much of my formative years in. This means she works with several people I had as a patient. This is very cool...except that they knew me during my "My eyebrows have grown together and I haven't discovered tweezers yet" phase of existance. So there goes my hopes of having a "cool roommate who never was a geek" image. Oh well.

2) Two new roommates have only just moved in...so we're all kind of new kids together. Very cool.

3) My singles ward seems to be littered with people with awesome names and boys who are dreamy.

4) Made a friend who is trying to be a stand up comedian. She invited me to come along on open mic nights. (This reminds me...if you could all send me a list of the things I've said that were funny I would greatly appreciate it.)

5) One roommate (New Kid)is studying to be a makeup artist. In movies. Like with prosthetics and stuff. Basically awesome.

Thats all I've got right now kids. I was reminded that I don't have to be witty...which is good because its just not coming. So, there's my life!

So, saw Sky High tonight. Pretty enjoyable...enjoyed the message for the most part. And can I just say? Warren Peace? Like, best character name ever. I'll marry you Warren! With you're villinous parantage and strong manly jaw....

Possible Favorite Simpsons moment ever:

Lisa: Oh look! Its J.K. Rowling, author of the famous Harry Potter series....Oh Ms. Rowling you're responsible for getting an entire generation of kids hooked on reading!

JKR: Oh yes, its marvelous...

Lisa: Can I ask you...what happens in the end?

JKR (irritated): He grows up and marries YOU. Is that what you wanted to hear?

Lisa (quietly): Yes...

I think that pretty much sums it up folks.

You know, I've reflected on it quite a bit. And life? Is probably worth it after all. I speak to you this week as a girl who officially has found housing. I have a place to live!!! I talked to the girls I had been looking with and they were both really nice about everything...and then I went and looked at the place and...I'm taking it! Woohoo!

Have you ever found yourself in an embarrassingly awkward situation regarding your ethics? Or perhaps two of them? Maybe on the same day? Like, to-day? Hypothetically speaking? Maybe you need a couple of examples? Alright, have you ever:

A) Accidently broken of the piece of your computer that allows you to push the button that opens your disc drive? Which wouldn't be a big deal and you could just send it to go get fixed but you sorta have a pirated copy of microsoft office in the drive at the moment. Which would be less of a deal if you hadn't....like...borrowed it. From someone else. Making it quite awkward to walk in and ask a computer tech-type to fix it.

Or...significantly worse:

B) Been in the process of looking for an apartment with two girls, one of whom you've only met once but who seems very nice and one who you knew from your old building who was in fact quite nice, but who also is very reserved, very quiet, and very much looking for a quiet place to live...i.e. not so much with the tv or music or singing in the kitchen (I might be exaggerating that out of guilt...its very difficult to tell). And then another girl called and offered you a place in her apartment. And you totally wanted to. Because it seemed so EASY. As opposed to finding one. Which does not. And so you decided that you were obligated to turn down said offer because of previous obligations and then told this to your mother who went: "Pfft...you're not married, check out the apartment and if it looks good tell the girls that you got another offer and you had to take it." And so then you went and left a message on that girl's voice mail asking about the apartment...how far was it from campus...how much would rent be...that kind of thing. And then realized...that you actually left the message on the voice mail of the girl who you are looking for an apartment and don't know very well but who seems very nice.

No? Oh. Yeah, me either.

...

...

...

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I am so dumb!!! I think I am possibly the dumbest dumb that ever dumbed. See how dumb I am? I wrote a sentance where the adjective, verb and whatever that last thing was was dumb. In more ways than one. I called her back and left another message saying..."oh I think I left you a wierd message, a girl called saying she had an apartment and needed roommates and so I was calling to check it out...haha...oops..." which, gah! So lame! And while not quite a lie...is also not a complete truth making it...A LIE!!!! I am like, a terrible person. I'm just going to go find a very dark dark hole somewhere in the back of the planet and try to make my face a little less red. Ugh. Kill me now.

I'm looking at the apartment tomorrow. I suck.

It is no secret that the Harry Potter movies while at times entertaining, fall somewhat short of the mark. I will say this in defense of the movies…they could have been much worse. Did you know that originally the movies were going to be animated? And then when they were first live action they were going to take place at an American Highschool? This got me thinking. Oh the possibilites. My counterpart La Strada and I put our heads together and put together a Cast List for Harry Potter and the Network TV show.

Harry Potter – Tom Welling…no need for an accent…just throw on a pair of round glasses and let the drooling commence.
Albus Dumbledore - Oprah...see, she asked...and we didn't know how to say no...
Dick Clark - Nicholas Flemming...we think he might be him in real life. Does that guy age?
Professor McGonnagal - Fran Drescher..."Professah Dumble...erm...we cast Oprah? Well...I guess Mistah Shefield?"
Ron Weasley – Frankie Muniez, but he dropped out after season two and was subsequently filled in for by Richie Rich.
Ginny Weasley - Lindsey Lohan...get it??? she's a redhead!!! and spunky!!! get it???
Draco Malfoy - Freddie Prinze Jr, complete with scooby doo hair.
Fred and George - Penn and Teller
Percy Weasley - Danny Bonaduci...he wanted to branch out from coniving, irritating little brother...doh
Severus Snape - John Cuzak…who knows where that one came from?
Parvati Patil - Hillary Duff
Padma Patil- Hayley Duff
Fleur Delacour - Paris Hilton..."I'm French....and that's hot."
Lord Voldemort - Jon Lovitz...trust me, its all in the delievery
Arthur Weasley – That Colin guy from Whose Line is it Anyway…but rest assured Drew Carey will not be in this show
Hermione Granger – Julie, Jana and I will take turns playing her with a large curly wig
Molly Weasley - Rosie O'Donald, fufilling her life long goal
Remus Lupin - Tom Hanks...(can recylce Castway costume for werewolf...will still better than the one in actual movie)
Nymphadora Tonks - Meg Ryan....they just work so beautifully together...and remember how her hair changes in Joe?
Sirius Black - Gerard Butler...Mari took a real beating with that Gary OLD-man. So I threw her a bone. But now I'm kind of regretting because...well:
Mrs. Sirius Black - Mari B...we'll see how long that lasts into production...*Mari dives in through the veil after Sirius NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!*
Lucias Malfoy - Fabio
Hagrid - Jerry Lewis...I wanted Yao but Mari assures me that Jerry Lewis is HUGE!
Lee Jordan - Will Smith...this way there will be no confusion as to the masculinity (or rather lack there of) of Lee...or will there?
Count Olaf – Jim Carey
Cho Chang – That one Asian girl that is on the Disney Channel…you know, the one that’s in everything…please who am I talking to? She’s on Phil of the Future.

The Rest of the Cast was cut due to Budget constraints…plus we got tired.

I'm having trouble blogging. It's like when I'm writing in my actual journal and I start to write for a few days and then I stop for three years. I always sort of feel vaugely guilty about all the riviting facts of my life that posterity won't be able to find out about, but not enough to actually galvanize me into action. Writing action. And then sometimes I sit down to write something, but I know that its not entertaining. And really, why write something if its not going to make me laugh? But none the less I am pressing on and here I am delevering this mediocre entry to my viewing public. Which...is mostly three people. And also me. Because I will probably read this several times wondering...why again?

Things I have done in the last two weeks:
1) bought pink flip-flops
2) turned 22
3) got a printer (see above...and also yay)
4) read seven books
5) one of which was Harry Potter...and, um...so good. Like, SO GOOD.
6) sent my sister off to arizona (cause I had so much to do with that)
7) saw charlie and the chocolate factory.
8) recieved seven hats (again, refer to number 2)
9) went to san clemente, where I am now. I would write more on this but I'm being offered spinach dip...so...yeah.

I, for the most part, enjoy life. I like simple things. New shoes, Beauty and the Geek, puppies, those kinds of things. I like things so much that I often hesitate to choose a favorite. I like most colors equally, enjoy all kinds of different book, movie and music genres and like all of the beatles...even George. I like seasons, all of them. Granted, its California so really there are only like one and a half seasons...but if you're imaginatively gifted you can tease them out into the standard four. I like being cold and I love sweaters. I love Christmastime and springtime and even falltime (whenever that really is). But kids, seriously. Summer. SUMMER. Well done nature. Well done.

Mom came home from Europe on Thursday, how cosmopolitan is that? She went on a fourteen day cruise up the Danube and down the Rhine. I've given it a lot of thought, and I definitely prefer the name Danube. It just sounds so...foreign. I've really gotta travel more. Anyway, she brought us back a bunch of presents...highlights of which are: A puzzle box for Aaron, which you can't open unless you know how. I do not. It bugs me only a little. And for each of the girls, a little bottle of Cologne from...Cologne, Germany. Not only is it Cologne, it is the original cologne. Invented by a guy who lived in guess-where and responsible for catalyzing an entire industry. That cologne. Some say it stinks but I don't think its so bad. Its better than some, no Tommy Girl of course, but not dreadful. Frankly its totally cool.

Since coming home for the summer I have been sleeping on a leopard print lounge chair in my sisters room. The chair flattens out for this purpose, and there is a matching footrest to make it long enough. It was fine for the first week or so, not super comfortable but enough. This is before it started giving me nightmares. The last several nights I had been having these terrible, incredibly bizarre dreams. When I woke up the pad had invariably fallen off the footstool so that by feet were either clinging on by my toes or on the wooden slats. My head was usually squashed into the armrest. Finally on Sunday I threw of my blanket and swore I would never sleeping on that putrid thing again. Yes, it is now putrid. You try sleeping on it...well, ever. So last night I had a new bed. I felt like a little kid with a big girl bed. We put it up on cinder blocks so I can store the plethora of crap that is currently littering the floor of the whole room and various other places in the house. So its a tall big girl bed.

For those of you thinking the bad dreams were unrelated to the putrid lounge chair I submit this piece of evidence: Last night I dreamed that I met Gerard Butler at Quizno's. And then Heath Ledger came in and we went for a drive. We laughed and talked...and when he dropped me back off at Quizno's he asked for my phone number. I was so excited I went in to tell Gerard all about it...and came across Ryan Gosling (sporting a backwards baseball cap and a baseball shirt...looking very nineties) whom I had apparently met the week before. He gave me a huge hug and said "Oh man Hannah, we have to hang out! What are you doing Monday?" I was doing nothing Monday and so we made plans. *Gwen, for the record even in the dream I felt awkward about that* Ewan was conspicuously absent. Who knows why? Either way it was a dream I wouldn't mind having again.

Let me just preface by saying that the following rant is not one born of longing for simpler times where all my problems consisted of learning to add and eating vegetables. I mean, I like vegetables, then and now. My frustration comes from something much more than disliking the decision-making and tedium of day to day adult life...its the fact that it doesn't end. I have just spent the last hour on the phone with my pharmacy, two doctors offices and my insurance trying to figure out the reason that I haven't been able to get my medicine...in TWO MONTHS. Thats right. Two months. Are you shocked? I was. Didn't realize it had been that long. Mostly because I had some extra. And my hilarious rheumatoligist gave me some to tide me over. So I thought it had only been three weeks...which, still? Not good. And at the end of this hour? All I have truly ascertained is that they still have doctors I switched six months ago listed as my primary care physicians, and that for some unfathomable reason, my account is now locked. So they can't switch me to my current doctors which is why I haven't been able to get my medicine. They have me under Dr. R, my old Rheumatologist, and Dr. M, whom I have never met. Because all the authorization forms have been traveling like so:

Are you confused yet? Yeah. Me too. Poor Dr. M has probably been like, Who? Except I don't feel that bad for her because she never tried to contact me...no who else didn't? My insurance company. So now, I'm sitting here by the phone, waiting for Adrianna, whoever that is, to call me back and let me know...what? Who my doctor is? When I will get my medicine? If I am even still covered? Can you think of anything more boring and yet panic inducing at the same time? And here is what I hate, I know if my mother had been in charge, none of this would have happened. It is in all probability, my fault, because I frankly have no idea how to work this. But mom let me take care of it. And by let, I mean said, "Hey you! Twenty-one year old! Learn how to make your own doctors appointments!" Thanks mom. Here is the other worst part: when all this is over? No one will care. No one will pat me on the back or anything...My reward is literally that I get to take medicine. And while I will be hugely grateful for that and everything, I will also be tired. Because I will have to do this again. And again. Forever more. Until one day I am to old and senile to remember to do these things and my ungrateful children and the callous health care system will leave me to shrivel up and die. Not that I'm feeling bleak or anything. Mari just brought me a chocolate filled croissant as a treat for my hard day. Because she is a good sister. She is still young.